p.49-51 first draft 200903141 Jung Sun Hoa
<Special Events for New Year's Day>
On December 31st every year, almost all Koreans wait for the Watch-Night bell, especially it ringing for 33 times. Many people go to a particular place to hear the bell ringing directly. For a few minutes before the Watch-Night bell ringing, the opening of New Year's Day, people get thrilled and excited. When the bell starts to ring, they decide something as a New Year's resolution and they pray their wishes for the New Year to their own God or themselves. And then they go to mountains or seas, also to high bridges to see the first sunrise of New Year.
When I was first grade in elementary school, my family went to the famous park in Busan to be in the New Year's celebration. Although almost two hours left to be midnight and be New Year's Day, there were so many people in the park. At that time, I was very curious and active kid, so I myself went here and there to look around many various ceremonies like heaping up stones and lighting up the candle lights. It was so funny to watch people's faces when they piled a stone very carefully on the top of other stones and tried to make their candle lights keep alive. The park was so crowded that finally I got lost. I couldn't find my father, my mother, and my elder sister. Maybe it was 20 minutes left to be midnight when the Watch-Night bell would ring. I walked through the crowd to search for my family everywhere for about 20 minutes. When I heard the bell ringing, I cried for help to God to find my family. It was my only wish for New Year. In the telephone box, I cried and cried. All people there looked so happy and seemed that they were walking on air for new start, but I was so scared to be left alone in the park. After the bell ringing, people started to get out the crowd to see the sunrise. I just sit in the telephone box and kept crying for help. The moment when I opened my eyes after praying, my father showed up in front of the box. I couldn't believe that my wish came true. My mother and my elder sister appeared soon after. They all looked really flushed and even my elder sister's eyes filled with tears, but I felt happy for the fact that I was not alone anymore. My father held me tight in his arms and then made me ride on his shoulders. Our family finally went to the sea to see sunrise. And there, we were all together. We had a great time to see the first sunrise of New Year, and prayed for our happiness forever.
There are the origins of the Watch-Night bell, and also the special meanings of ringing 33 times. They are related in our history. But today, many people just enjoy the events with their family, friends and their lovers. Because it's the tradition which they have experienced since they were young. To me, it's so natural, yet special event in December 31st to go to hear the Watch-Night bell ringing and see the sunrise. I'm so pleased that we have this kind of events for New Year. I'm looking forward to doing so on this coming December 31st again, hopefully with a boyfriend!
I think a conclusion is summarizing your writing. In your body paragraph, you talk about your experience of the New Years Day; however, your conclusion is the meaning of Watch-Night bell. I think it is not a good conclusion and it would be good if you write it in your introduction.
ReplyDeleteI dropped my name
ReplyDeleteWon Du HO
second draft 200903141 Jung Sun Hoa
ReplyDeleteOn December 31st every year, almost all Koreans wait for the Watch-Night bell, especially it ringing for 33 times. Many people go to a particular place to hear the bell ringing directly. For a few minutes before the Watch-Night bell ringing, the opening of the New Year’s Day, people get thrilled and excited. When the bell starts to ring, they decide something as a New Year’s resolution and they pray their wishes for the New Year to their own God or themselves. And then they go to mountains or seas, also to high bridges right away to see the first sunrise of New Year.
When I was first grade in elementary school, my family went to the famous park in Busan to be in the New Year’s celebration. It was my first day to be there with many people. Although almost two hours left to be midnight and be New Year’s Day, there were so many people in the park. At that time, I was very curious and active kid, so I myself went here and there to look around many various ceremonies like heaping up stones and lighting up the candle lights. It was so funny to watch people’s faces when they piled a stone very carefully on the top of other stones and tried to make their candle lights keep alive. I didn’t hold my father’s hands and the park was so crowded that finally I got lost. I couldn’t find my father, my mother, and my elder sister. Maybe it was 20 minutes left to be midnight when the Watch-Night bell would ring. I walked through the crowd to search for my family everywhere for about 20 minutes. When I heard the bell ringing, I cried for help to God to find my family. It was my only wish for New Year. In the telephone box, I cried and cried. All people around there looked so happy and seemed that they were walking on air for new start, but I was so scared to be left alone in the park. After the bell ringing, people started to get out the crowd to see the sunrise. I just sit in the telephone box and kept crying for help. The moment when I opened my eyes after praying, my father showed up in front of the box. I couldn’t believe that my wish came true. My mother and my elder sister appeared soon after my father. They all looked really flushed. And even my elder sister’s eyes filled with tears, but I felt happy for the fact that I was not alone anymore. My father held me tight in his arms and then made me ride on his shoulders. Our family finally went to the sea to see sunrise. And there, we were all together. We had a great time to see the first sunrise of New Year, and prayed for our happiness forever.
There are the origins of the Watch-Night bell, and also the special meanings of ringing 33 times. They are related in our history. But today, many people just enjoy the events with their family, friends and their lovers. Because it’s the tradition which they have experienced since they were young. To me, it’s so natural, yet special in December 31st to go to hear the Watch-Night bell ringing and see the sunrise. I’m so pleased that we have this kind of events for New Year. I’m looking forward to doing so on this coming December 31st again, hopefully with a boyfriend!